


All or Nothing

by Seastar98



Series: They're Only Human [3]
Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga), Death Note: The Musical - Wildhorn/Murphy
Genre: Be Careful What You Wish For, Multi, and someone suggested it to me and I haven't been able to get it out of my head, because I love the musical, characters listening to the musical, if you thought the characters watching the anime was weird get ready for this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-04-23 20:48:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14340615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seastar98/pseuds/Seastar98
Summary: Light was happy his students had taken the revelation of his past crimes well. He truly was, even if he'd have to find a way to punish Ryuk for revealing it later.He just hadn't expected two of them to decide to make a musical about it. Then again, it was the Wammy House, and none of the kids there were normal.Besides, it was good and they could all use the distraction while they planned the wedding.(Again, I suck at summaries but can't think of another way to write this so oh well. Read if you want.)





	1. Let's Get To It

Ryuk had been thinking about doing this for years, but it wasn't until the lovebirds got engaged that he thought about it seriously. Light obviously wasn't going anywhere, and while there was never a dull moment, if he had to stay in the classroom, he wanted to be able to interact with the students. They were all smart kids, and if they had been managing to keep L a secret, why not add another?

Light wouldn't be too mad. Hopefully.

He knew where they were keeping the notebook. It was right next to the disc with the show on it. He knew how often L checked on it.

It was pretty easy to steal himself a page once they started on their next case. Even if Light wasn't teaching, his students met up in the classroom. He smiled as he balled up the piece and dropped it on his favorite's head. The kid squawked, and whipped around to glare at his nemesis, before picking up the paper. 

"Hey kid."He chuckled, watching as he yelled and fell to the ground.

"Jack."Frank knelt at his friend's side as he hyperventilated,"Um…breath, man."

"M-monster."Jack's green widened. None of the kids caused trouble in Light's class, his class was too interesting, but outside of class the kid was quite the prankster. His human could normally figure it out before anything got him, but there were times he couldn't. He also loved the little poems the blond would write. 

"No one can see it unless they touch the paper, buddy."Ryuk sat on the desk. It was a good thing he was a genius, because even in his panic he understood, and passed the paper over. Frank took his presence better, seeing the connection and passing it on. Soon, all twelve kids were staring at him. He flew over to Light's desk, grinning,"Now give me that back before your sensei gets mad."

Bosah nervously ran it up to him. He was one of the newer kids, he'd joined them around a year ago from some country in Africa. He couldn't remember if it was Niger or Nigeria, but that had been a fun trip. He had helped his village with fixing their water system, and that had drawn the institute's attention. 

"You know Yagami-sensei?"Frank managed to ask. Their resident musician from America. There wasn't an instrument he couldn't play.

"I met him when he was seventeen."Ryuk answered honestly.

"Um…"Maria raised her hand. She was always polite, normally with her head in a book. He was pretty sure she wanted to be a writer, she just hadn't picked a topic yet. He loved hearing her tell stories about her home town in the Philippines,"What are you, sir?"

"I'm a Shinigami."He spread his wings,"Or a god of death in this language."

"You're a god?"Bosah shifted away from him.

"Not in the traditional sense."Ryuk shrugged,"I can't actually do much beyond kill people."

That probably wasn't the best thing to tell children, but the only kids he interacted with were the heirs, and they were able to handle anything. Reuven moved protectively in front of the others, as if he could do anything to him. Humans were silly that way. He was another of his favorites, if only for the little hat he always wore,"Why'd you show yourself to us?"

"I suppose I was bored."He chuckled. 

"And you've been here the whole time?"Danica crossed her arms. She was a sassy little girl from Croatia. Her interview had by far been his favorite, and she was one of the first kids Light had recruited to England. She was insanely good at chemistry, and he was sometimes asked to watch her to make sure she didn't blow up the building. 

Like he'd tell them if he thought she was, but he could see her lifespan. If she was going to die from her own explosion, it wouldn't be while she was at the Wammy House.

"Not the whole time."He said defensively, because she made it sound weird,"I hang around L a lot."

"Wait…"Jack finally seemed to recover,"Are you the one who keeps getting me in trouble with Yagami-sensei?"

"You kiddos are the geniuses."Ryuk was glad he made this decision,"What do you think?"

"I told you he wasn't psychic."Timothy grinned. He was a physicist in the making from Greece. Never really outspoken but none of the kids were the type to fade into the background. 

"Because you could guess that Yagami-sensei had a god of death that's invisible helping him monitor the classroom."Fei hit him. She was from China and while she was incredibly smart, she hadn't chosen a field to focus on yet. He had a feeling she'd be going into some form of engineering. She always hung around Kiania in her tinkering. 

"How did Yagami-sensei end up with a god of death following him?"Solene inquired. The French girl was going to be a lawyer if he ever saw one. There had been talk of her potentially training to be a detective, but she didn't want that. She much preferred being in a courtroom to finding the criminals herself.

"I dropped my spare notebook into the human world and he was the first one to pick it up."He held up the crinkled piece of paper,"Just touching a piece of it gives you the ability to see me."

"Notebook?"Nollaig narrowed her eyes at his, and he'd have to watch himself or his would get stolen by the little Irish kleptomaniac.

"Yep. It's called a Death Note."He rested a hand on top of his own,"If you know the face and name of a person and write their name in it, they'll die."

Another silence. The kids exchanged glances as they digested the information. He wondered if any of them would put it together. He watched Solene for a moment before turning his gaze to the little boy that had been silent so far. Iero was perhaps the smartest one in the room, and like the geniuses he'd gotten to know over the last few years, he didn't have good social skills. Light was always careful to make sure none of his students felt isolated, but he was something of a teacher's pet.

Which probably explained the suddenly anger in his eyes.

"Are you suggesting that Yagami-sensei is Kira?"

So he had put it together.

"What?"Timothy looked back at him,"That's impossible. Kira was executed years ago."

"Yeah."Nollaig agreed,"Besides, Yagami-sensei helped catch Kira, that's how he met L."

"Do you really think Yagami-sensei could kill someone?"Bosah frowned,"After everything he's taught us?"

The door to the classroom opened, and Light walked in. His students all froze, looking between him and himself. He slowly let out a sigh,"You know, Ryuk, if you wanted to meet my students you should have just asked."He glanced at his kids, checking to see the emotion on their faces. A few looked suspicious of him, those that knew Iero didn't mean it as an insult.

Iero scowled,"He's accusing you of being Kira."

Light raised both eyebrows, before sighing,"I was Kira."He held up a hand to stop the resulting protest,"What Ryuk failed to mention is that his power corrupts the mind. I used the notebook once because I thought it was a joke, and it was so easy that I kept using it until I warped into someone I didn't recognize. I became Kira."

"But then…"Solene frowned.

"If you give up possession of the notebook, you lose all memory of it."The young man explained,"The influence it has over you is gone. L forced me into a situation where I had to give it up, and the notebook was given to the man who was executed as Kira. I helped L track him down, unaware that I was the one that had started it all. That's where we…"

"Fell in love."Frank finished,"And you didn't even know…"

"By the time we got possession of the notebook, I had no desire to be Kira. I completely intended to face judgment for my crimes, regardless of whether I remembered them or not, but L…"He shook his head,"L thought otherwise, obviously."

The kids all looked conflicted. Light himself had taught them all that Kira was wrong, that death to criminals was only right in rare circumstances. It was Bosah who turned to look at his classmates,"Could you imagine what would have happened if L hadn't done that for Yagami-sensei? Where the Institute would be without him?"

"Maybe you should show them the video."Ryuk suggested.

"What video?"Maria asked.

"Maybe I should."Light agreed, before sighing,"I won't tell you what to believe, you know that's not how I teach. If you are uncomfortable having me as a teacher, or would like me out of your lives-"

"No!"All twelve protested.

"You and Kira have to be two different people."Iero decided.

"Yeah."Reuven agreed,"You aren't Kira, Yagami-sensei."

The young man smiled, reaching out to ruffle Nollaig's hair,"L would be happy you agree with him."

"Sensei…"Danica trailed off, her eyes widening,"You agree with him too, right?"

"Most of the time."The teacher closed his eyes,"I was only seventeen when I picked up the notebook. I was young, idealistic, I thought changing the world would be easy…it's a mistake I'll spend the rest of my life paying for."His students moved closer at his open display of emotion,"I don't deserve the life I have now-"

"Continue that sentence and I'll tell L."Matt walked in,"C'mon, we all know Ryuk's not gonna hurt the kiddos."He smiled at him,"And we've got a case."

One by one, the students hugged him goodbye. Light returned each hug,"He won't hurt you."He cleverly left out that the only person he intended to kill was him,"He likes apples, and videogames. He's actually quite normal despite not being human."He held onto Jack's shoulder,"Don't think he'll help you with your pranks. He isn't all that dependable."

"Light."The tech genius complained,"Stop helicoptering."

"I assume I don't need to tell you the importance of not telling the rest of the school about Ryuk."The kids nodded obediently,"Good. No one else can see or hear him except for you so be careful when you talk to him."Another nod,"Anything you give him will appear to float to others unless he eats it."

"Helicoptering."Matt reminded him.

"Otherwise, if he causes any problems, just tell Mr. Wammy."The nineteen year old huffed and grabbed his arm to start dragging him out of the classroom,"We can talk more about it when the case is over."

Matt slammed the door shut behind them, and Ryuk cackled,"They will never stop being entertaining."He told them, and they grouped together to face them,"Now, do you want to know more?"

"What's on the video?"Danica asked.

"That would be spoilers."He smiled,"But I can get it for you if you want to watch it."

The kids debated amongst themselves for a few minutes, before they came to the unanimous decision that they wanted to know more. It didn't take long for him to get the video, and since no one showed up to stop him he assumed that Light was fine with the kids knowing the whole story. He'd stop them after L's death because Mello and Near together had mastered irritating him but not enough to drive him away.

They had pushed the desks aside to set up blankets in front of the projector. Jack put the CD in the player,"How bad was Kira?"

"You'll see."Ryuk cackled, even though they wouldn't get to the worst part.

He wondered how the kids would react.

***********************************************

Jack closed the door to the music room behind him, leaning against it as he sank to the floor. Yagami-sensei had been the one to bring a lot of them to the Wammy House, had actively sought them out and gave them the choice to be more than what their circumstances dictated. He was like a guardian angel to all of them. A teacher, a counselor, a big brother, a father, everything rolled into one.

He was amazing, and he was only twenty-three. He was only ten years older than him! 

Yagami-sensei was his hero. He was everything he aspired to be. 

But he'd also been the most terrifying killer the world had ever seen. He had killed thousands of people under the influence of the Death Note. If the Shinigami king hadn't interfered, he would have killed L. Ryuk didn't let them watch the rest, but he was old enough to remember that Near and Mello were the ones training to be the next L. A battle between them all would not have been pretty.

He couldn't believe that there was a version of Yagami-sensei that would kill his love. 

It didn't happen, but still…

Frank was sitting on the piano bench, playing a modified version of L's theme. He closed his eyes as he listened to it. It was beautiful music in the background, but writing music had never been his specialty. He knew how to compose, but he much preferred adding lyrics.

He liked poetry, the nuance and flow of words. He had gotten into Wammy's on the power of his essay, though he wasn't too far behind the others when it came to math and science. He tapped his foot in time of the tempo of the music. 

That future was what haunted his favorite teacher. The horror of what could have been, what his skills could have done for the wrong side. He wished there was a way that he could make it better. Yagami-sensei had helped him with his parents' deaths, he'd helped him with his move from the United States to England. He was a good man, it didn't matter to him what he had done in the past.

"You know most schools have a fall play and a spring musical."Frank stopped and turned to face him.

"I don't think you can get anyone here to sing."He chuckled.

"Still…"His fellow American shrugged,"I've been looking for a project to work on."

"You want to write a musical about Yagami-sensei's biggest regret?"Jack stopped laughing. He always knew the kids here were insane, but that was next level.

"I want us to write a musical about Yagami-sensei's biggest regret."His best friend sent him a look that meant he was serious about this,"I'll need help with the lyrics after all."

"And end it with Kira's victory?"That wasn't going to help anyone.

"You heard Ryuk at the beginning."Frank frowned,"He's going to be the one that kills Yagami-sensei when he gets bored."Jack scowled at the reminder, but so far it looked like the god of death was easily amused, especially with all the new people to talk to,"We can end it with that. A stalemate where neither of them wins."

"This time stalemate…"He thought about it. People wrote plenty of musicals about murder, some even about real life murder. It would be like Chicago in a way, if they wrote it. A criticism of the criminal justice system, a critique of celebrity criminals, the ones that ended up getting public support despite their horrendous crimes. And Kira had gotten support.

"It would be interesting."Jack agreed,"But we'd have to shorten it."

"Naturally, it can't all be the same as what we were shown."Frank smiled.

He finally nodded,"You think Yagami-sensei would like it?"

"I don't know."His best friend shrugged,"But it's not like we'll have this done soon."

"We'll show him after it's finished."

Maybe he'd like it? As a way of showing him it was in the past. He was pretty sure L would like it.

Oh well, it was a challenge, and they were always told to challenge themselves.

***********************************************

Light was relieved that nothing had changed between him and his one class. They were the first year to mostly be his recruits and that meant a lot to him. If anything, his students were more concerned about his wellbeing than they normally were. He couldn't quite be sure L hadn't had something to do with that, but his fiancé had been suspiciously smug lately. That also could be due to the case they closed.

Jack had been distracted throughout the class. He thought he was being sly about what he was working on, but he wasn't. 

He didn't even notice him walking up behind him until he was kneeling and reading the paper. The teen tried to cover it up, blushing more than was normal for him. He'd never had qualms against sharing his poetry, and it was quite nice. He honestly didn't know why he and Maria weren't better friends, but that was their personal choices.

"Where is the justice?"He wondered, only catching the title,"What's this about?"

"Um…you, sensei."Jack bit his lip.

"We're working on a musical about Kira."Frank revealed immediately.

He blinked, wondering why anyone would do that, before chuckling,"That was the last thing I was expecting to come out of this."

"Sorry, sensei."Jack apologized,"I know you probably don't want to think about it-"

"It's fine."He interrupted, because he couldn't spend his whole life regretting that. He hadn't killed L. He hadn't led to the deaths of so many more people. He was getting married in around six months. He had expanded the Institute into so much more than Mr. Wammy had ever imagined. He was credited with saving thousands of lives through his humanitarian efforts.

He was redeeming himself. 

He wasn't Kira. 

"What have you gotten so far?"He asked curiously, because Matt would love this,"Maybe I can help with characterization."

"A few of the songs."Jack slowly revealed the paper,"But this is the opening one."

He looked at it and smiled. 

He would have to tell the others about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the songs I'm probably going to be using are on Youtube if you look them up. There are nineteen songs for the English concept album and the rest can probably be found in Japanese or Korean if you're curious.


	2. Hero

Near sighed as he spread the pictures out on the table. He hadn’t realized he would have this many responsibilities as a groomsmen. He now understood why L had chosen Mello for his best man. The blond was better when it came to making decisions about catering and décor. Or, at least, he knew what Light would like better since L didn’t have many preferences except for the cake.

Still, he was tasked with getting Sayu’s opinion, since she was the maid of honor. Light had protested that for all of a day before just accepting that unless he replaced Sayu with Matsuda he would be the one bringing the maid of honor to the wedding, not his fiancé.

If he thought that made him sound more feminine, that was his problem, but his masculinity was not worth the wrath of his sister.

“Oooh.”Said sister leaned closer as she looked at them,”Blondie’s got good taste.”

“Does he?”Near wondered. All of it seemed extravagant to him.

“I’m surprised L would want something like this.”The college student picked one up.

“He thinks it’s what Light wants.”The detective sighed,”Light wants something simple because he thinks that’s what L wants. It’s frustrating.”

Sayu giggled,”That must have been some argument.”

“You should have studied abroad.”Near reached into his bag to grab the other pictures Mello had ordered Matt to take of the other things,”I could use your help in England.”

“You?”She blinked at him,”Need my help?”

He was past the point of caring if he admitted there were things he didn’t understand about normal people. The only thing they’d be getting from this marriage is a slight benefit in taxes, but even then it wasn’t like L filed taxes. He nodded,”You are…good, at these types of things. I am not.”

“But we love them so we’re going to make this as easy for them as possible.”Sayu grinned,”Plus, it’s been awhile since you’ve had to come all the way out to Japan.”

“I’d rather be here than back at our house.”Living with Matt and Mello was convenient for their work, but they were still a volatile trio,”It’s like Mello’s the one getting married.”

“He just cares a lot.”She defended easily, turning over pictures until she narrowed her focus to two bouquets,”Which one do you like?”

Was this a test? Everything felt like a test lately, and it was the first test he had ever failed in his life. He knew that flowers had a language of their own, but it was so nuanced and varied that he had given up. If he was ever in a position where their code was flowers he would gladly just reveal to the enemy whatever sensitive information they were trying to pass.

“That one.”He decided. He had a fifty-fifty shot of being right.

“Okay then.”She slid it into another envelope labeled Sayu’s Choices.

“Wait.”He tried to grab it, but she held it away from herself. He glared at it, hoping that he had another growth spurt so that he would be taller than her,”These are supposed to be your decisions.”

“And I couldn’t make a decision so I asked you.”She childishly set it far out of his reach.

“If they don’t like it…”He was not taking the fall for her choices. After Mello had gone on about the various shades of white he had decided that if he couldn’t be right then at least he couldn’t be wrong.

“I won’t throw you under the bus like that.”She laughed,”I don’t do that to my friends.”

He still marvelled that they were friends after all this time. He thought once he was out of sight, he’d be forgotten, but she texted him relentlessly until he responded. He couldn’t have been good conversation, but she’d never given up. She was the only person in the world with a picture of him, and that had only been so she could show off to her friends that she had a cute European friend.

He still didn’t see what about him she considered cute, but he got used to her easy praise. He didn’t find it as embarrassing over time, and even found it in him to return it. It never failed to make her smile widen.

She was as beautiful as the video had depicted. Each time they met face to face it got harder for him to ignore that.

“You did that to Matt a week ago.”He said with a straight face.

“He deserved it.”She rolled her eyes,”He told Light I was bringing a date.”

“Didn’t you invite your boyfriend?”It was normal for people their age to date, but he had no interest in that activity. There weren’t many people he could go out with anyways.

“We broke up.”She averted her gaze, but didn’t look that upset.

He knew he shouldn’t be happy about the information, but he was. He was glad she was looking away so she couldn’t see the small smile spread on his face,”Oh?”

“It’s kinda hard to find guys who likes me for me when everyone knows Light’s my brother.”She huffed, reaching for her coffee,”What’s next?”

“Cake toppers.”He said with no enthusiasm.

“Aw. Does that one have L’s slouch?”Sayu was happy again, and he didn’t draw away when she invaded his personal space. It was another progression he hadn’t noticed until it was over. The first time they’d gotten coffee he’d sat across the table from her. Next time, she moved to the seat adjacent him. A few times after that they got a booth, and she slid in next to him. He’d noted it, but it didn’t bother him.

“I think Matt threw that in there as a joke.”Near shrugged.

“Well, all of them with top hats can go.”She started flipping them over,”Last I checked, L looks ridiculous in them.”

“None of the toppers look like them.”He frowned.

“That’s not the point, Near.”She laughed.

They continued going over the details of the wedding. He wondered if it was like this for every couple or if it was because they had no budget. He didn’t even attempt to calculate how much this was going to cost. It would just make him less enthusiastic, and if he didn’t have a little he couldn’t fake the rest. If he looked too apathetic, he’d get in trouble.

He sighed, it was only a two months away. He just had to last two more months and hope no one else ever got married.

Her phone buzzed, and she legitimately squealed at whatever notification popped up.

“What has you so excited?”He wondered.

“Jack and Frank have finished my song for the musical.”She hit his arm, something he still didn’t understand why people did when excited.

“You got a song in the musical?”Near tilted his head, because none of them did. Granted, the one class had only seen what should have been up to L’s death, so the musical was focused on L and Light and Misa. He didn’t bring it up often, since every time he did Matt would break into the songs he wasn’t sure were actual songs. Ryuk certainly enjoyed his rendition of the Shinigami songs.

“Technically, it’s Misa and mine.”She grinned,”It’s for ironic purposes but I love it.”

She opened the link, and he listened to the song. There weren’t lyrics on the recording. It was a simple melody, gentle guitar strumming with even softer violins and piano accompaniments. He thought it fit her from when they’d first met. Young, innocent, sweet. Not that any of that had changed over the years, but there was so much more to her than he’d first thought.

“What’s the title?”He inquired when it was over.

“My Hero.”Sayu flipped some of her hair over her shoulder.

“Fitting.”Near nodded, recalling how she had drawn Light out of Kira,”Does it already have lyrics?”

“Yep.”She pulled up another document on her phone,”They haven’t found someone to sing it yet but once they do…”She bounced in excitement.

“Why don’t you sing it for me?”He asked, turning the phone back to her.

“Can’t you imagine it with that genius mind of yours?”Sayu rolled her eyes.

“I’m afraid my perception of music has been forever altered by Mello.”He also enjoyed her singing.

That was another reason he enjoyed being around Sayu. L could be fascinated all he wanted with Light, but he found the younger Yagami more interesting. He’d learned not to underestimate her. She wasn’t a genius, but she did have talents. She’d just always been overlooked because of her brother.

It was something of a challenge to get her to show them.

She laughed, because she knew when he was joking,”Have you and Matt managed to get him off his leather obsession?”

“You’re deflecting.”He didn’t want to admit that they hadn’t. They were lucky that Light had picked out their suits for them. He tapped the screen to keep it lit,”I don’t want to imagine the complete song, I want to hear it.”

“So demanding.”She grinned,”Japanese or English?”

“Japanese.”To his knowledge, neither Jack or Frank were fluent in the language. That meant she was more likely to have helped with the Japanese lyrics.

Sayu stared at him for a moment, before finishing her coffee,”Not in public.”

“My hotel isn’t far.”He always felt weird staying at her house.

It really wasn’t far, and soon they were sitting on the balcony of his hotel room.

“No laughing.”She pointed at him.

He held up his hands,”No laughing.”

She turned her phone up to full volume and set it on the table between them. She closed her eyes, and he smirked, knowing she would have the lyrics memorized. She had a pleasant voice, and she obviously empathized with the lyrics.

Logically, he knew the song was about her admiration for her older brother. It was ironic because her brother was certainly not the hero of the story.

**“A person who never loses sight of what’s important.”**

He could imagine that it was about him.

**“He doesn’t have wings to fly through the sky.”**

He doubted Sayu returned his feelings. He wasn’t even sure his feelings were more than that of deep friendship. This was another area that wasn’t his specialty, it wasn’t something that could be taught by a book and he lacked the experience to learn it like a normal person. He could ask L, but L would tell Light. He could ask Matt, but he would tell Mello who would tell Sayu.

Other than that…there wasn’t much company he kept, much less others he trusted.

**“My ideal hero, always giving me the courage to face things with that smile.”**

He’d never imagined himself as a hero. He’d wanted the mantle of L for as long as he had been at Wammy’s.

**“Just like my big brother.”**

He stared more intensely at her, wondering if perhaps it could be about more than her brother. He thought about her characteristics for a hero. Someone who was cool, but nice. Someone who valued what was right above strength, above power. Sincere, straightforward in facing challenges. A person who didn’t give up, even when faced with the impossible.

She opened her eyes and smiled at him.

**“My ideal hero.”**

He returned the smile. He didn’t fit all of those criteria. He doubted he inspired any courage in her. He wasn’t all that nice, though his apathetic demeanor was often mistaken for a cool attitude. He did value righteousness above power or physical strength, and once he set his mind on something he did it.

Sayu didn’t need to be shown the strength to go on living. She didn’t need to follow anyone.

**“My own hero, with more in his heart than anyone else.”**

His heart…that was what L had engraved on Light’s ring.

Heart, emotion, compassion, love. Before they had all been summoned to watch their future, he didn’t think heart mattered. Logic, numbers, rules, winning, that had been what had mattered to him nearly six years ago. A lot had changed since then, and that was due to his three good friends.

**“Like me.”**

The song finished.

“That was amazing.”He complimented.

“You should hear some of the other songs.”Sayu shrugged,”This one’s probably the simplest.”

“Simple can still be amazing.”He replied.

Her eyes widened slightly, and he wondered if perhaps he was being too obvious. He certainly thought he was being more subtle than L had been. He resisted the urge to reach over and initiate contact. He didn’t shy away from it anymore, but he was still hesitant to initiate it. The moment, if it was a moment, was interrupted by her phone ringing. She picked it up.

“It’s my ex.”She frowned.

“Has he been bothering you?”He mirrored her frown.

“He wants to get back together.”She sighed as she let it go to voicemail,”Probably because his only claim to popularity was dating me.”

“Hm…”The phone rang again and he grabbed it from her hand. He barely paused in answering it,”Moshi Moshi.”Sayu stared at him, stunned. He had never willingly talked to any acquaintance of hers.

“Who is this?”

“A friend of Miss Yagami.”He said in a cold tone.

“Is she with you?”

“That is none of your concern.”He held up a hand to cover the receiver as she started laughing.

“I am her boyfriend.”

“Are you?”Near asked sarcastically,”I was informed you broke up.”

“She’s just overreacting. If she-“

“I am going to stop you there.”The detective interrupted,”I advise you to cease and desist in your pursuit. Your relationship with Miss Yagami is over. If you cannot understand that…well, there are ways you can be made to understand.”

If Mello was allowed to threaten at least one person every case they worked on, he should be allowed to drop the occasional one himself.

“Who do you think you are?”  
  
“I am an associate of Mr. Light Yagami.”Sayu was now openly laughing, and he had to fight down a smile to keep his tone impassive,”I would hate to have to inform him he has a problem to deal with in Japan.”He turned his gaze away from her,”There is no way you will benefit in continuing contact with Miss Yagami. You must be a somewhat intelligent man, I do hope I do not have to continue clarifying myself.”

The other was obviously angered, he could hear it in his breathing,”You don’t.”

“Then this phone call is over.”And he ended it. Sayu kept laughing, and he chuckled as he set her phone down,”He should not bother you again.”

"My hero."His heart beat a little faster as she wiped at her eyes,”Well, there goes my chance of bringing a date to the wedding.”

“I could be your date.”

The offer was benign. As a groomsmen, he was part of the wedding party, he was expected to join in some of the dances. Having a date meant having a consistent partner, and dancing with Sayu would save her from having to dance with Mello. No offence to either of them, but he was sure someone would end up with a broken foot if they were permitted to dance too many times together.

He worried for everyone else’s wellbeing if Matt and Sayu were allowed to swing each other  around. The tech genius claimed he hadn’t meant to throw him into the wall, but he didn’t see how it could have been accidental.

He himself had been avoiding the practices. Everyone was more focused on getting L to do them than him so he’d gotten out of many.

He watched her face go through various emotions. Confusion, since she likely didn’t understand the purpose of his statement. A flicker of hope that through him off with how quickly it was replaced by disappointment. Then she smiled, seeming to decide to humor him,”Well, we’re already going to match, aren’t we?”He nodded, and she got up,”Then you have a lot of practice to catch up on, mister.”

“Practice?”He reluctantly got to his feet.

“Dance practice.”She scrolled through her phone for appropriate music,”I’m used to dancing with boys taller than me.”

“We’re almost the same height.”If he stood at his full height.

“Hm.”She held her hand out, and he grasped it, moving his other to her waist,”Let’s see what you’ve all been learning in England.”

It was a waltz, one of the ones he had attended practice for. Waltzes had three counts in the music, a count for every step, every step a slight rotation of the circle as they circled around the room. He smirked at her surprise when she didn’t have to stoop to be twirled, and it widened into a smile at her surprise that he had the strength to lift her up.

He was stronger than he looked.

“What do you think Light’ll say about this?”Sayu laughed.

“It’s just for the wedding.”He shrugged.

Immediately, he knew he had said the wrong thing. The smile froze on her face, before she easily moved out of his space,”Yeah…just for the wedding.”She started gathering her stuff,”This was fun, Near, but I have to get going.”

He tried to make eye contact, but failed,”I’ll call you later.”

“Alright.”She paused at the door,”See ya around.”

He made a noise of agreement, and she was gone.

Near sighed, before flopping onto the bed. Did she expect something more? He was hardly someone she could be happy with. He was never around, and she had too many attachments to Japan to just up and leave. He was sure the Deputy Director would disapprove of another one of his children running off around the world. Light had extenuating circumstances, but Sayu should finish school.

That was still years away. These feelings had only started to surface recently, they could just as easily fade by then.

Romance was not a specialty of his, and he hoped his failure in it would not lose him one of his dearest friends.

They weren’t pressed to do anything, be anything. He was not one to act without thinking.

He was overthinking this. He knew he was, but he couldn’t stop. He rolled over and groaned into the pillow. Sayu was…his ideal, but ideals did not often translate well to reality.

He requested the lyrics to the English version, and got a response despite the time suggesting they should be asleep. He read them as a small distraction, his mental voice not nearly as melodic as Sayu’s.

**“A heart that is strong, a heart that is true, a heart that will risk it all to do.”**

There was a risk. Sayu was an outsider, she didn’t have the same protections as the rest of them. She could get hurt if his connection to L was discovered. If they broke up he’d put Light in an awkward position. If they worked out…he sighed. She’d probably want a wedding bigger than her brother’s. He’d have to go through all this again, but with everyone asking him questions.

He was being facetious.

He liked Sayu, and she liked him enough to be hurt at his dismissal of them being in a relationship, but was it worth changing what they had?

Near didn’t have an answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be ready for a romcom musical as they all get ready for the wedding. I didn't include many ships in the first part and this is now compensation. I happen to find the idea of Near and Sayu cute.
> 
> If anyone has a suggestion, as always, feel free to drop it in the comments! Thank you!


	3. Playing His Game

L swung the racket experimentally. He and Light played tennis once a week if they didn’t have other matters to attend to. With consistent practice, he had regained his old skill. It was nothing like the earlier days where Light always seemed to win. They were basically even, and this was one thing neither of them could find a way to cheat in. This was skill and luck.

Which is why it was the focus of their bet.

He had to win today. 

“You can win, Yagami-sensei!”Danica shouted.

“You have an unfair advantage.”He frowned at the crowd of children who had come to watch. He was sure some would cheer for him, but Light’s students were unusually dedicated. Not that they didn’t like him. If anything, the one class that had been told the truth about the past seemed to admire him more. Though they had come to him for tips on how to cheer his fiancé up.

But he didn’t interact with them like Light did, so they weren’t as attached to him.

“If you think you’re going to lose,”Light rose from his stretch,”You can always forfeit.”

“Surrender isn’t an option.”L stood up taller,”I will win despite the disadvantage.”

“And somehow I am the arrogant one.”His fiancé leaned in to kiss him.

He held up his racket so he couldn’t,”No more distractions.”

“Are you ready for this?”Light raised his voice as he walked to his line. L mirrored him on the other side of the net,”Mr. Yagami.”

“Mr. Lawliet.”He returned.

He was fine revealing his last name if it meant his fiancé would take it. It was the one argument they had been unable to reach a resolution with. They had agreed to have two different weddings. One at weddings with family and close friends, and then another one to satisfy the public. The first would use his real last name, the second would announce him as Rue Ryuzaki.

He was sad to be giving them any name. He quite liked being Light’s anonymous plus one to public functions. It irritated the reporters who wanted to gossip about his lover, especially since they spent the first year or two believing he was the newest millionaire bachelor.

Every other issue they had been able to come to an agreement on. He’d wanted a chocolate cake, but compromised for a strawberry filled vanilla one. Mello was the one arguing the most with his fiancé, but he often agreed with his best man. He’d done his research, found out everything he needed to make decisions, and he didn’t mind the occasional fight.

They were getting married. In the end, he didn’t care how it happened so long as it happened.

The last name issue would be resolved with this game. The winner got to decide.

He was looking forward to Mr. Light Lawliet-Yagami.

For all their banter, he was certain that his fiancé would also pick a hyphenated last name as well. It was still a matter of which name would go first, therefore being the one less likely to be shortened to, but he thought Lawliet-Yagami sounded better than Yagami-Lawliet.

Not that he ever used his real name, but just the knowledge that it was that way made him inexplicably happy.

Perhaps it had something to do with the history of why people took their husband’s last name. It was symbolic of ownership, the woman no longer belonging to her father but her husband. Rather archaic, but he had watched enough people try to drive a wedge between him and his love to not get a little possessive.

Never jealous. He believed Light when he told him he had no interest in others, but it would make him feel better if they backed off. In turn, Light never got too bothered by those who flirted with him when his fiancé was forced into a different conversation.

They had begun backing off when Light started wearing the ring, but he hoped it would decrease further when he could say it was a wedding ring and not just an engagement.  Engagements, after all, could be called off. Marriage was a little harder to end. Especially when there was no sign of unhappiness in their lives.

Though he couldn’t wait to see what the tabloids made up anyways.

It would be sad how desperate some people got for any drama, if he wasn’t so amused by it.

“Your serve.”He moved into his stance. He didn’t want to start the game giving him an ace.

He easily forgot about the crowd as he got absorbed in the match. Light’s swings were more powerful than his own, despite them being near equal in strength. More often than not he was forced to rally, neither of them able to push the other into a corner, neither of them able to get into a position to change the ball’s direction. Who won the point depended on who slipped first.

Light made the first error, which meant the first of the points went to him.

Now he just had to keep that up for the entirety of the match.

The sun continued to rise on the surprisingly clear day as they played on. He made his fair share of mistakes, misjudging how fast Light could move when determined. Light got overconfident and tended to draw too close to the net because of it. They agreed to a break once they were tied three all, and he noticed that Frank had dragged out a speaker to the tennis court.

“Here you go.”Nollaig threw him a towel and a bottle of water.

“Thank you.”He smiled, then looked at the teenaged boy,”Are we going to have music?”

“Um…”The easily flustered kid scratched at the back of his head,”I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind performing one of the songs.”

Ah. The musical. He glanced at the camera in Jack’s hands. He hadn’t been a fan of it at first, not when he had seen the plan for the plot and saw it ended in both of their deaths, but it had grown on him. How could it not? It was well done, hitting most of the important aspects of the case while also showing the devolution of their characters. But without the Yotsuba arc, there was no romance between him and Light.

There was only obsession. Light and him with finding each other, Misa’s with Light, Rem’s with Misa’s happiness.

The latter two were called love, and he found those songs to be some of his favorites.

“I don’t sing.”Light did. He’d heard him going over some of the songs with his students.

“But you know the lyrics.”Of course he did, he had a photographic memory and it was impossible to ignore the constant emails.

“He does.”Light answered for him, slinging the towel over his shoulders,”I’m assuming you want the tennis scene.”

“Light…”He warned.

“What?”He blinked with fake innocence,”You have a decent voice.”

He sighed, not seeing a way out of it. Another reason he had come around to the musical was seeing Light put on the act of being Kira. It meant he had finally put it in the past, finally fully accepted that they were two different personalities entirely. Except for the first song, but they both agreed there were flaws in the justice system. He’d just renewed it while working with him.

Besides, he did like this song.

He liked all the songs his character was in, not as much as Ryuk liked his songs, but he preferred them to the others. At his nod, Kiania came up and started hooking up a microphone to his shirt. A few ran back inside to presumably gather more witnesses, and he sighed again. Maybe he had preferred when the children had been too in awe of him to talk to him.

The camera was turned on, and he watched Light’s expression immediately become a little colder and a lot more arrogant. He tossed his racket into the air, and it twirled. He caught it at the same time he started his lyrics. He was a little sad that he started in English, though Mello said the Japanese lyrics were incredibly gay.

Though they were a gay couple so he didn’t understand that criticism.

L waited for his lines to be done before starting his own, recalling what it had been like at the time. The fear, the determination, the risks he’d never taken before.

**“What would I do if I got inside his head?”**

**“Thought like him instead?”**

**“Could it be-“**

**“Possibly”**

**“I’ll catch him when!”**

He found himself almost grinning when Light dealt the first serve. It wasn’t as powerful as his usual hits, nor did he put them in a difficult position where he’d be unable to sing properly. The students cheered at his successful return.

They still thought along similar lines, able to predict the other’s actions before they happened. It was incredibly convenient when a situation arose when he was acting as Watari and there was a situation that could only be handled in person.

**“One and the same as the me who is playing his game.”**

They’d been playing a different game for years now, heading down the path of life together. He accidentally hit too hard, and Light let it slip by him. With a somewhat real glare he broke into his next solo part. His smirk widened. Oh, Light knew exactly what he did late at night, when everyone else would be asleep, and he knew what he dreamt about.

His words hadn’t changed between Kira and Light. He was unbelievable either way. Sure, Light no longer tried to convince him he was perfect with his every action, but he still tried to convince the world. He made promises, and he worked hard (sometimes too hard) to keep them. It was harder than any of them anticipated, and he was sure it was harder than he could understand from the side.

**“How would it be if I saw the world like him?”**

**“Like a synonym?”**

**“Bit by bit-“**

**“Wit by wit”**

**“Catch him I win!”**

It was his serve this time.

He wasn’t sure if they saw the world in the same way, but he was certain it was similar. It was only natural that they pick up on each other’s habits from being around each other. He was proud that Light no longer took his coffee black, though he in turn ate foods that weren’t desserts. He did know most of his fiancé’s routines, he liked to have a plan.

He supposed there was some thrill in it. He liked that he was more confident in his love’s reactions, that he knew him better than anyone else could. He was sure he was the same person he thought he was. There were no more lies, no more masks.

He still had to be cautious at times. He was not the most patient of men and sometimes Light just couldn’t be separated from his work. Neither could he if a case captivated his interest. He was still the only person to ever reach Light’s breaking point. Whether or not that was an accomplishment was up to the person. Considering how trying Mello was, he was proud of it.

**“I’ll look through his eyes, and see what he sees, ‘til I see the forest, not just the trees.”**

For a song that was supposed to be about a detective and criminal attempting to understand the other so they could defeat them, it reminded him of the first year of their relationship. Back then, he could say with confidence that he knew many things about his boyfriend, but that didn’t mean he grasped the entirety of who he was. It took time to fully understand him.

And even with that understanding, Light found ways to completely surprise him.

Just like their first game, he hit the ball so it barely made it over the net. Light seemed to anticipate the throwback and ran closer immediately.

**“I’m sure I am winning my game while I’m saying!”**

L was prepared this time for the return.

**“I’m playing his game!”**

He got there in time, launching his hit above Light's head, but in a high enough arc that it just barely stayed in bounds. He smirked at his victory, even if this game didn’t mean anything. Light held his gaze for a few more seconds, before glancing to the cameras,”Was that good enough?”

“Perfect, Yagami-sensei.”Jack grinned.

“I wanna hear it in Japanese!”Matt requested with his own phone held up, obviously filming this. He narrowed his eyes at him.

“You don’t have to do a whole performance.”Frank quickly said,”But if you wouldn’t mind singing it…”

L did mind. He wanted to finish their tennis match so that they could settle the last name question. But he held his tongue. The song wasn’t that long, and if he put on a good enough performance they would only be putting off the game for a few more minutes.

“Not all of you speak Japanese.”Light chuckled.

“That doesn’t matter.”Timothy almost pouted.

“If this is your attempt at throwing me off…”L muttered, his words still being picked up by the mic.

“We agreed no cheating or schemes.”His fiancé replied with a devious smirk,”Besides, don’t you like Inside of Me?”

He chuckled as some of the students picked up on it and groaned. Matt made a face, but it was his fault for requesting the song. He looked at Fei,”Start the song over again.”

There was no tennis match happening this time. He still turned to face his lover. They were normally more reserved in front of the student population at Wammy’s, but there were times that they agreed to mess with them. It was likely something Light would be embarrassed about later, but it was all good fun at the moment.

All he needed was to meet his warm gaze to know they would be overacting.

So he lifted his tennis racket and pointed it at him.

**“Anything and everything bound together as one, this heart remains you.”**

There wasn’t much difference in purpose of the song, but there was certainly a difference in how they went about displaying it. Instead of trying to anticipate the other, this song was more about becoming one. It wasn’t about acting as the other would but there not being a difference in how they acted, except in their hearts. There was also less speculation about the other and more on the plot.

**“Flare up! Become one flame! Other things are inconsequential, I can’t see anything but you!”**

If Misa’s songs could be considered love songs, so could this in a sense. It wasn’t any less obsessive than Misa had been in real life. He couldn’t manage to tear his gaze away from Light’s. How quickly had they become the center of each other’s lives?

If something were to cause Light to no longer be part of his life…it would be like losing an essential part of him.

**“Right now it’s entirely like there are only two people in the world!”**

Which annoyed his heirs to no end. Not that he noticed when they were doing it.

He broke their gaze to sing his next part, once again wondering what it was about the young man that made him act so differently. Light’s character wondered the same. He doubted they would ever know.

**“Seeing things with the same eyes, joining together, becoming intertwined, the awareness that let out a cry in pursuit, maddeningly, of only you.”**

Of course, this version ended with a threat of choking the life out of the other, but barring that it was certainly enough of what Mello would call ‘sexual tension’ to make the students uncomfortable. A part of him wondered what the kids were planning to do with the video, before deciding he didn’t care. It wasn’t like anyone would believe he was actually L.

Nor would anyone make the mistake of thinking Light and Kira were one and the same.

He wouldn’t stop Frank and Jack from seeking to have it preformed professionally. The world had demanded more information regarding the Kira case, and it was quite easy to give them the original profile. It made sure that no one would connect it to Yotsuba, therefore lessening the likelihood that the knowledge of Higuchi being Kira would spread.

As far as the world was concerned, Kira was a young man, likely a student, with a connection to the police. Misa had already admitted (because there was no controlling that woman why did they even bother sending Matsuda to attempt that?) that she had been detained as the second Kira for a time before being cleared.

The only part he hesitated over was suggesting the Death Note as a possibility. They had never released how Kira killed. Granted, the idea of gods of death and killer notebooks was too ridiculous to be believed by anyone that didn’t witness it. It would be easy enough to explain that part of the musical as a way for Kira to kill using only a face and name. Something creative.

Kira had only been active for one year. He hadn’t amassed a massive cult following. Five years had passed since the announcement of the execution. It might be in poor taste to have a musical about it come out so soon…but Light couldn’t teach them all proper social skills.

“You two are disgusting.”Matt announced.

“You’ll understand one day.”L replied flippantly.

“You’re only eleven years older than me.”The tech genius grumbled.

“And in eleven years I hope you understand.”He smirked. His heirs had finally reached that point in their lives where they were beginning to show an interest in romance. A little late according to Light, but no one could say they weren’t socially stunted. He could only hope that none of them did what he did and fell in love with a suspect.

“You ready to continue?”Light asked as he moved back to his side of the court.

“I’m ready to win.”He answered.

The game felt like it went on much faster. He gave it his all, as he always did.

This time, he managed to win.

Light came over to kiss him on the cheek,”So what’s our last name going to be?”

“Lawliet-Yagami.”He smiled.

“Light Lawliet-Yagami.”His fiancé tested,”A bit of a mouthful.”

“I’ve always said you talk more than necessary.”He shrugged.

“I feel bad for any kids that take on our name.”Light rolled his eyes.

“You want kids?”

It was something he’d known, but hadn’t thought his lover would consider seriously. He worked in an orphanage. It would be playing favorites to adopt only a few of them.

They had just ended one argument, he hoped he hadn’t sparked another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all liked this chapter! I didn't distinguish between who was singing which lines but it's pretty easy to either listen to the song or look up the lyrics yourself.


	4. There Are Lines

The closest thing Matt had ever had to family were his friends at the Wammy House, but they’d always been friends. Not siblings. His teachers and the head of the institution had only been that to him, never parental figures. It didn’t make him feel like he was different from anyone else, because everyone he knew was in the same boat as him.

It wasn’t until the video that he began to understand what family was like.

Aizawa had kept his word, and it only took a few awkward phone calls before he was used to the new correspondence. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to talk about at first, before realizing that it didn’t matter. He wanted to share his life with the older man, and no matter what he said or did he would support him or chastise him.

Near would probably have called it pointless, but it was hard to explain the point.

Talking to Aizawa every week was his way of reassuring himself that his life was different from what they were shown.

Light and L got that every morning that they woke up next to each other. Mello and Near got it every time that they worked together on a case. His frequent phone calls helped him know he was a different person.

It had been the only thing keeping him from worrying until the day of the Deputy Director’s death in the original future had passed without him dying.

Well, not the only thing.

“Hello, Mashuu.”He waved at the camera.

The toddler waved back enthusiastically,”Matt!”

If he ever needed more reassurance that the course of life itself had been altered, all he needed to do was see Aizawa’s third child. The one that hadn’t existed in the future they’d been shown. A life that shouldn’t have existed.

He’d freaked out when he heard the news. Considering he had essentially taken over most of the more difficult cases involving cybercrime, he could work from anywhere. That meant he showed up in Japan, only sixteen, with his laptop and a bag full of clothes. He was paranoid that the kid would miscarry, that he wouldn’t be allowed to exist, that they hadn’t changed life that much.

In hindsight, he felt bad for Eriko.

She’d just laughed off his fussing and told him that a lot of the women she knew didn’t get as much help through their pregnancies. She was as amazing as her husband, able to treat him like he was a kid without being insulting about it. She also never doubted his skills.

She let him buy their groceries, take the kids to school, set up the nursery, go along to the doctor’s appointments, even ones he scheduled because he read too much on the internet, she even taught him how to cook when he insisted on cooking for all of them…

He wondered if his own mother had been anything like her. Kind, understanding, easygoing.

It helped Aizawa too, since he was going through the process of a promotion. He’d already gone through the whole pregnancy thing twice with his wife, and also let him do what he needed to do for the third. He was honored at the amount of trust, which had then furthered his desire to see it until the end.

He wasn’t in the room when Eriko gave birth, but he had been the one to drive them to the hospital. Carefully, and with Shiro in his car seat. He’d then sat with the kids in the hallway. It was arguably more stressful than the day where he had to sit alone and wait to hear what had happened with Rem.

Still, he ended up with a lovely godson. Mashuu, named after him. Well, his alias since he was not cursing someone else with the name Mail or any interpretation of it. He’d also ended up with months of teasing since he had followed the baby wherever it went around the hospital. As if Mello or L had any right to call him paranoid.

Though the parents had been thankful he continued to stay, and for his insomniac tendencies not being bothered when the baby needed to be fed at random hours at night. Eventually, Aizawa had called Mello and he’d been dragged back to England, but those were the months when he realized he was part of their family.

“How’s it going, little man?”He asked.

“Good!”The three year old enthused,”Look at what I did!”

A picture was held way too close to the camera for him to appreciate it. There was a chuckle from the side, and then Aizawa was kneeling next to his son, pulling the picture back,”His pre-school asked him to draw a picture of his family.”

That explained the stick figures. He blinked, nearly doing a double take,”Is that me?”

“Yes!”Mashuu beamed,”Do you like it?”

“Do I like it?”He returned the smile, recognizing that the one that had stripes and an attempt at goggles was supposed to be him,”I love it!”He stared at it, in awe at such a simple thing. Linda could be almost famous for her art all she wanted but he thought this was the best picture of him ever,”Good job, Mashuu!”

Shiro soon shoved his way into the view,”I got the best grade in my class on our math test!”

He better. Aizawa might not let him use his money to spoil the kids, just like L wasn’t allowed to spoil Sayu, but he was enough of a genius to help them in their studies whatever they might be. Mello had laughed the entire time he went over multiplication with the young boy, but he didn’t care. However, he did enjoy Near’s attempt at helping.

“That’s awesome.”He grinned,”Keep up the good work.”

“I will!”The child looked determined,”I’m gonna be just as smart as you one day.”

“You sure will.”He leaned closer.

They talked for a few more minutes about random things. The kids never failed to have random questions he himself had never thought of answers to. Near came into his room, noticed what he was doing, and left with a slightly disappointed look in his eyes that he was busy. He guessed he’d have to ask later how his meeting with Sayu went.

“You excited to be the ring bearer?”He asked his little godson, getting down to what he actually needed to cover.

“Yes.”He nodded,”All I gotta do is carry the rings, right?”

“Yep. Then follow the flowers until you get to me.”If the kid screwed up he’d protect him from Mello’s wrath.

“And then your boyfriend will take the rings!”Mashuu finished,”And I go sit with Dad!”

“That’s my little man.”He ignored the boyfriend part. As much as he wanted it to be true, it just wasn’t,”Now, if I remember the time change right, it’s almost your bedtime and you’re not in your pyjamas.”

The kids scrambled to get ready for bed, and Aizawa sat down behind the camera,”Wedding prep driving you insane yet?”

“They finally decided on a last name.”Over a tennis match with a song involved that made him want to vomit, but it was one argument settled,”Near just got back with Sayu’s choices so everything else should be decided soon.”

“That’s good to hear.”The Chief of the NPA chuckled,”Matsuda won’t shut up about Light’s bachelor party.”

“L told us if we try to throw him one we’ll only be on cold cases for three months.”Matt grumbled, because they couldn’t even plan one without L noticing,”Where’s Yumi?”

Aizawa sighed,”She got in some trouble at school and seems to think you’ll know about it.”

He shrugged,”It didn’t make her record, otherwise I would know about it.”

The man shook his head,”One of these days I’m going to have to explain to my kids that what you do isn’t normal.”

“It’s normal for them.”He would let up in his surveillance when they were older, but they weren’t old enough for private lives yet, so he didn’t consider this an invasion of privacy. He didn’t see anyone else in the room so he asked,”What happened?”

“I don’t know. She doesn’t want to talk about it.”Aizawa glanced at the door to the other rooms,”She’s getting to the difficult age.”

“Be glad you were never my legal guardian.”He laughed,”But if you can get her in front of the screen, maybe she’ll talk to me?”

“It wouldn’t hurt to try.”The detective got up,”Just a minute.”

He hummed in acknowledgment. Wammy’s hadn’t had that much drama compared to public school. Most of them had different interests, so there was no need for competition. While a few of them dated and broke up, the consequences of that failed relationship didn’t really affect anyone. It wasn’t like anyone failed or got kicked out or moved away, and after a while there weren’t many new kids…

But knowing Sayu had introduced him to the woes of normalcy.

Yumi came in a little over a minute later, crossing her arms as she looked at him,”Hey, Matt.”

“What’s up?”He drawled, relaxing to hopefully come off as nonjudgmental.

“Nothing.”She muttered.

“Doesn’t sound like nothing.”He tried to get a read on her. She was obviously defensive, but there was more to it. It was almost like she was…afraid. Sadly, he promised not to use his detective skills to figure out secrets or surprises, so he’d have to do this the harder way.

“Didn’t Dad already tell you?”She sorta glared at him, but there was no real hate in it.

“Considering you didn’t tell him, how could he tell me?”They weren’t allowed to interrogate children. One of Light’s rules, no matter how effective those tactics could be in getting information out of them.

She deflated a little,”It was stupid.”

“I love hearing about stupid things.”Matt smiled.

“You wouldn’t get it.”She looked away.

“Even geniuses do stupid stuff.”He shrugged,”When I was your age I’d almost been arrested three times.”That made her look back. If someone said something surprising it was almost guaranteed they would get the other’s attention. He held her gaze,”I’ll get it.”

There was a long pause as she considered telling him, before she crumbled,”You can’t tell anyone.”

“I can keep a secret.”His very existence was a secret.

“I was just trying to help my friend…”She trailed off,”She has trouble keeping the dates straight in history…”

“So you let her cheat?”He presumed, watching her nod,”You know cheating’s bad.”

“Our sensei’s so unfair!”Yumi protested,”He only taught us this stuff yesterday!”

“Did you understand it?”She glared at him for a moment, then nodded,”Then maybe you should offer to help your friend in a different way.”

She made a face at that,”I’m already the smartest person in the class, I don’t want to rub it in.”

He looked at her, sensing there was more,”Have other people asked you to help them cheat?”

Popularity was important. It’s why Light learned how to make people like him. The more he was liked, the less likely others were to mess with him. People naturally separated into groups and into an us and them mentality. He knew it was a hell of a lot more complicated than that, but besides Mello being an ass to Near and B being a little harsh not much bullying went on at Wammy’s.

“…maybe.”She admitted, and he was relieved to note she looked ashamed.

“They’re just using you, Yumi.”It didn’t mean they actually liked her or wanted to be her friend, and if she was caught once she could be caught again…it wasn’t a stable basis for friends.

“They’re my friends.”She insisted,”I can’t just say no.”

“A good friend wouldn’t ask you to do something that could hurt you.”She was young enough that there weren’t many consequences for actions like that, but when she got to a higher education level, it would matter.

“A good friend should always want to help their friends.”She replied stubbornly.

“Would they risk getting in trouble for you?”Matt asked, thinking back to a similar conversation he’d had with Aizawa when he’d been younger. The whole how much could he do in the name of his friendship with Mello before he reached too much. It had never bothered him when he and Mello had been lumped together…but he didn’t want to be defined by his friend.

It was why he hesitated to express his romantic interest in his best friend.

He was his own person. He made a name for himself as more than Mello’s assistant. He had opposed Mello in many of his decisions on cases. He knew he wasn’t a tool to the blond, he knew his friend cared, but other people weren’t wrong when they said he let the other walk over him sometimes. Especially when he was younger.

It would be kinda unfair to Near if he started something with Mello anyways. He’d promised them when they started working with L that he would be objective in any arguments between them.

Could he be objective and be with Mello?

“…no.”She reluctantly admitted.

“Then they’re not really your friends.”He told her,”You can find better friends, real friends.”

“What if I can’t?”She crossed her arms again,”I don’t want to be the weird, loner kid.”

“You’re not going to be the weird loner kid.”He chuckled at just the idea of that,”I promise. If you do the right thing, it’ll work out for you.”

“…okay.”She accepted his advice.

“Besides,”He drawled, wanting to see her smile again,”Even if you were the weird, loner kid you’d still have me.”

She did smile, but then yelped as her brothers came back on screen, now dressed in their pyjamas and smiling as if he could tell they had brushed their teeth. He beamed at them,”I think that’s a record.”

“I forgot to ask about the musical!”Shiro looked like he was vibrating.

Ah yes, because he sent them the video of L and Light’s tennis match and children asked way too many questions sometimes. Aizawa didn’t like to talk about the Kira case, he especially didn’t want to give them any details until they were older, but Yumi had already put together that he had to have been involved, because he started showing up the same time the case ended.

They knew he was a detective of sorts because they knew he worked with their father on cases, but that was about it.

“Can you sing us a song?”Mashuu asked with those eyes.

He was glad Mello wasn’t with him for this call.

Well, there were a few songs that had nothing to do with the case.

“I’ll keep it short because it’s almost past your bedtime.”It was one of his favorites, if a little harsh in Japanese. Because of him, all the kids were nearly fluent in English, but they were still better at their native language.

**“There is a line and you must not cross it.”**

He smiled slightly at Yumi to show he wasn’t being as stern at the Deputy Director was in the actual show. Still, it was a nice lesson for them.

**“If you cross it you will lose yourself.”**

Leaving out Light’s part, this was just a nice lesson about not breaking the rules they made for themselves. Yumi might be starting with good intentions, but every time she bent the rules it brought her closer to the line. He skipped over the part about selling their hearts to the devil and burning in hell because that was so dark.

**“Hold on to only the unwavering sense of justice within your heart.”**

He leaned back in his chair.

**“Without being led astray by anything.”**

Not friends, not a desire to be popular and fit in, not anything. They should have the strength of will to not bend their morals.

**“Become a god yourself.”**

Just not the vengeful kind of god Kira did. He wasn’t going to hold them to a higher standard than anyone else, or expect more out of them than other kids, but it wasn’t a bad thing to strive to be the best. It was only when they thought that failure was unacceptable that they could have problems, but they hadn’t gotten to the age where they failed at anything meaningful.

He finished the song up quickly, and the boys cheered.

“That was nicely written.”Eriko complimented as she picked up the little one.

“All I can imagine is the Deputy Director singing it.”Aizawa knelt,”It was nice talking to you, Matt. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight!”He waved,”Talk to you soon!”

The call ended. He stared at the screen for a moment, before remembering that Near was back and he had shit to do. He got up and made his way out of his room.

“Call went well?”He jumped, not having seen Mello.

“Has it ever gone bad?”Matt asked back, still smiling. He would continue smiling until something serious happened. He froze,”Shit, I forgot to ask Aizawa to fax me the picture. Damn, I’ll have to email him.”

“Picture?”Near inquired.

“Mashuu had to draw a picture of his family and he put me in it.”He poured himself a cup of the ever present coffee,”I’m putting that on the fridge when I get it.”He took a sip and leaned on the counter,”How’s Sayu?”

“She broke up with her boyfriend so I’m her date now.”Near said, and yep, there was definitely something bothering him,”And I already gave Mello her choices.”

“I’m sorry, can you repeat that first part?”He set the coffee down,”You and Sayu are going to the wedding together?”

“Yes.”He didn’t meet his searching gaze,”I didn’t sleep well on the flight. I’m going to rest now.”Before they could protest the youngest left the room.

“Sayu and Near, huh?”Mello wondered.

He’d have to call Sayu and see if it was serious. The two of them had agreed a few years back that they should see other people. Mello and Near obviously weren’t interested, always focused on the next case, and waiting for who knows how long was just pathetic. Sayu had no small amount of admirers and he also had friends that weren’t his fellow heirs. Dating was fun, especially since it never got too serious.

Mello had certainly not liked any of his partners, but he also didn’t like regular people in general so he didn’t think it was jealousy. He wasn’t dating them to make Mello jealous anyways.

“Makes me think I should find a date.”Matt grinned.

“And leave me the only single one?”Mello arched an eyebrow.

He bit his tongue to keep himself from offering.

**There are lines that can’t be crossed. There are things you shouldn’t do.**

Like ask his best friend to be his date for his mentor’s wedding. That was a line he wasn’t going to cross anytime soon.

**For you pay too high a cost and you lose a piece of you.**

He wasn’t afraid of losing Mello to a failed relationship. Even if they broke up, he was sure they’d still be able to work together. He was afraid of losing himself to a successful one. He didn’t want to go back to being an extension of Mello. He’d seen a lot of relationships where the people seemed to fuse into one. Everyone referred to them as one, talking to one was like talking to both.

He didn’t want that to happen to him.

Even if it didn’t…he wasn’t ready to risk it yet.

Though that all depended on Mello actually sharing his interest.

“Alright.”He shrugged,”I’ll go solo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. I know absolutely nothing about flowers. Not sure if I need the information but if anyone knows something that would be fitting for the wedding, let me know!


	5. Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies to DarkZelda. I started on this chapter when I read your comment but it still took a few days. Hope you enjoy!

“I heard you and Near are going to the wedding together.”

Sayu made a noise of pain. It had been a little over a week since Near left Japan and she still wasn't sure what to make of the situation she'd created for herself,”It’s just for the wedding.”

“Ouch.”There was no background noise of Matt typing so that meant he was giving her his full attention,”I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”She shrugged, even though he couldn’t see it, he could probably feel it in her tone,”Just got my hopes up.”

Near was…Near. There really wasn’t a way to describe him. He was honest, brutally so, but she appreciated that. He wasn’t that expressive but that just meant when he showed emotion it was genuine. He was cute in the same way L was, and he had a need to understand everything that was adorable at times. Especially when he was puzzled by things that didn’t have an explanation.

It wasn’t like she was stupid. It just took her a lot longer to reach the same conclusions as them. 

It wasn’t like Near had many people in his life he would date. She hoped it would be her, since she understood him. She knew him as the detective, the boy behind the title, and the young man he feared he would grow up to be but hadn’t. They were good friends, and she’d been hoping for some time now that they could be more than friends. 

But that was such a normal thing to fixate on. 

They had a lot more important things to focus on than relationships. She was still in college and they were working hard to expand L. Near wasn’t that involved in what Light was doing, but her brother didn’t want to leave her out of his life so she was. She hadn’t been able to attend that many public functions when she was still in high school, but now she was working to get a business degree.

Mr. Wammy was already setting up an internship program so she could help during her breaks.

Some called nepotism, but it wasn’t like there were that many people who knew about both businesses. Light was sorta managing, but he still had Mr. Wammy helping him. She planned to help too, and if they opened the new house in Japan soon she could stay in country. 

It wasn’t like she could be no one with Light as a brother.

“Well I had a nice opportunity to ask Mello and completely missed it.”Matt told her, sharing in her misery,”Now we promised to both go solo.”

“Ouch.”She replied,”I’m sorry.”

He laughed,”We can drink to our shared misery.”

“Sadly, I can’t drink at the wedding.”She sighed,”We’ll be lucky if Near doesn’t drink himself into a coma.”

She got it. He hated crowds and parties. It took the edge off for him to drink a little before having to do anything with them. It slowed his thinking down, and when his thoughts were slowed he didn’t have the brain power to rationalize his emotions. 

He was almost normal, except he was still insanely smart and if anyone annoyed him he had no verbal filter. She’d planned to watch out for him anyways, and being his date made that easier but everything else so much harder.

“Promise me you won’t stop him if he tries to give a speech.”Matt chuckled.

“Oh, I won’t.”It wasn’t a wedding without some drunk relative embarrassing themselves.

“How soon are you coming to England?”The tech genius inquired.

“I’ll be there a week and a half before the wedding.”Well, both weddings, since she was going to both. One was the small one at Wammy’s and another was a big event in London. Then the two were going off on their honeymoon, which would be the first vacation they’d had in forever,”Light’s coming to pick us up a few days before.”

“For his bachelor’s party.”Matt made a noise,”How’s Matsuda’s plan coming along?”

“Better now that Yamamoto’s involved.”Her brother was in for quite a night with those two involved. 

It was strange how Yamamoto had come back into their lives. He’d been her brother’s best friend when they were younger, up until Kira basically. She’d personally learned how easy it was for people to fall out of touch after high school ended. She certainly had an easier time maintaining ties than her brother, but she also didn’t have half the problems he did at the time.

They’d bonded when they were younger because they both planned to join the NPA, they both wanted to be detectives. Light had strayed from the path, sort of, but Yamamoto didn’t. She wasn’t sure what had possessed her brother to reach into the past, but three or so years ago he’d planned a get together with some of his high school friends. He’d come back to Japan for almost a month.

It was the closest him and L had ever gotten to breaking up.

The Valentine’s Day Incident.

It was something that, in hindsight, was inevitable. 

Light was a genius, but he had limits. He had been too eager to start redeeming himself and it showed with how much work he’d taken on in a short amount of time. Mr. Wammy had helped him with the first year, but over the second he’d begun to let him bear a greater burden. Her brother had rushed it, had thought he had to do everything alone.

It made sense in the weird way her brother always did. He wasn’t sure that the lives he saved would count if he saved them in a group effort. A valid concern, but not one he vocalized well. Or at all. He didn’t want to discourage the others from the cases they were working on.

It was stressful for him. The boys could tell he was stressed, but all of them had been at a loss for how to help. The press had also just found out about Light having a boyfriend so he was facing public backlash for his sexuality. 

L didn’t understand the weight other’s opinions could have on someone, neither did the boys. They were all able to shrug off the criticism, say it didn’t matter. They didn’t get that it did matter in a way that couldn’t really be explained.

She yawned. Matt chuckled,”Tired?”

“Exhausted.”She admitted,”I’ll call you in a few days?”

“Looking forward to it.”Then she hung up.

A lot of things had mattered to Light that shouldn’t. She put on some music as she thought back.

It was Near that recommended the couple take a vacation, a little getaway like the one they’d taken to Rome after the Kira case was over. Near thought the best thing for her brother was to get away from the public and stick to the people whose opinions mattered. It was the logical course of action. Light was overworking himself. Solution, remove him from his work.

But it was never that easy.

Her brother had always been good with words. He could convince anyone of basically anything, but there was a dark side to that. Words were his defense, his shield, but he was even better at using them to attack. 

L had suggested the vacation, and her brother had snapped.

She still wasn’t sure what had been said, but Mello told her it was terrifying. 

She could imagine what happened. He probably told L that he needed space, that there were things he had to do that wouldn’t work with his constant worrying. He definitely told Mello and Near to back off because they were too socially stunted to understand what he was going through. Matt wasn’t there for the original snapping, but he’d been sent to try and pull it all back together.

Only to have a door slammed in his face and a threat of a virus being downloaded into his server. Nothing personal.

Her brother had come home after that. It wasn’t a vacation because he still did his work for the institute but it was a break from L. She’d tried to talk to him, and when she challenged him saying he had no one else to talk to in Japan, he’d almost snapped at her. Light was always passive aggressive in their arguments, and this time it took the form of Yamamoto.

A friend that didn’t know about Kira or L. 

Someone who didn’t know how stressed he was behind the mask of perfection. Someone he could pretend to be normal with.

**“I’m cheating death with every breath.”**

Sayu hadn’t even realized she’d turned on that song. Misa had volunteered to record her own, so they actually had a complete version of her songs. She turned on her side to stare out the window.

**“And every song and every sigh.”**

That was the big reason behind Light snapping. There was always going to be that part of him that thought he didn’t deserve the life he had now. It made him humble, it kept the power he had now from corrupting him. He wouldn’t try to throw his life away, he couldn’t do that to the kids that adored him, but when L had suggested he take a break…he’d taken that as an insult.

**“Cause every day that I don’t die is borrowed time.”**

It was a miracle that Light and Misa were alive, but just because it was a miracle didn’t mean they didn’t deserve it. 

Borrowed time? It was more like earned time.

Whatever had happened when Yamamoto and her brother had gone out drinking resulted in Light calling L the next day. 

**“You can never change my heart.”**

They still had their occasional fights, but that had been the only major one.

She yawned again and closed her eyes. As much as she wanted to stay up and think about the wedding, she did have an exam the next day and she didn’t have the brainpower to do well on it on zero sleep. 

She was happy for her brother, and now that they knew everything was different, she hoped he found an even greater happiness in his life. He had earned it, he deserved to be selfish from time to time.

They all worked so hard…they should have a personal life to relax into.

She didn’t think Near would realize that for a while, but she could always hope.

***********************************************

A few hours later, halfway around the world, Mello was dealing with an issue.

He knew they shouldn’t have taken on a case that required Watari to be there in person. There was only a month until the wedding, and Light was going to Japan in two weeks to pick up his family and do whatever Matsuda had planned for him. Sure, they’d definitely have the case solved in time for him to do all that shit, but it was an unnecessary risk.

When L had just taken on cases that interested him, there hadn’t been much pressure on the criminal part of society. If their crimes weren’t interesting, then the faceless detective wouldn’t come after them.

That had changed with all of them working as L. They took on difficult cases that would have classified as boring five years ago. They went after organized crimes, even though it was nearly impossible to dismantle a centuries old line of criminals they sure as hell made a good effort at it. No criminal, unless it was something the police could manage on their own, was safe from them.

Which meant Watari was suddenly threatened a lot more.

It wasn’t that often, but it was often enough for it to become a concern. 

Sometimes it was attempted kidnapping, as if they could use Light as a hostage to stop their investigation. Sometimes it was a simple hit, a shooter storming the police building in an attempt to kill the only person known to have a connection to L. A few times it was corrupt cops and the hit almost happened inside the building.

For that reason, one of them always accompanied Light when he had to act as Watari. 

This time it was him, so he was the one trying to deal with a fucking stab wound since they couldn’t go to an actual hospital and the doctor sworn to secrecy would take some time to get there. He glared at the knife embedded in Light’s shoulder, “Didn’t I tell you to be careful?”

“I was careful.” The stabbed idiot replied.

He continued staring at the blade. He had basic medical supplies, but he was pretty sure rule number one of dealing with stab victims was not to remove the object stabbing them since that would only make them bleed more. He pressed against the skin around it, applying pressure until the medical professional arrived.

“How the fuck did you even get stabbed?” He muttered, “Most of those dickheads had guns.”

“If you can’t tell by the placement,” The older man grumbled, “I wasn’t exactly looking.”

“Do you at least know who it was?” Mello demanded.

“Yes.” He couldn’t see Light’s face, but he was pretty sure he had that stupid smile on right now. The one he always wore when trying to reassure them that everything was fine when some things were not fine, “All the assailants were taken into custody.”

“I really couldn’t care about that if I wanted to at the moment.” The blond pressed down harder unintentionally, and the engaged man hissed. He winced. It was a good thing that he was awake and coherent, but he kinda wished he wasn’t, “The only good thing to come out of this whole fiasco is that L solved the case.”

It wasn’t like they were unmotivated, but there was nothing like one of them being in danger for the rest of them to pull a criminal out of a suspect pool.

“Solving the case wouldn’t have prevented this.” Light replied.

Right. The attack was orchestrated by another group. Matt was looking into the dirty cop that must have leaked that Watari was there. He hoped they figured it out soon, because he wanted to personally send his ass to prison. He let out a low noise.

“This isn’t the first time I’ve been hurt, Mello.” The Japanese idiot continued in an entirely inappropriate tone for someone who still had a knife inside him, “You can relax a little.”

As if he wanted the reminder of the other times he’d been hurt acting as Watari.

“I’m not going to snap at the doctor.” He growled, because he had enough emotional control now to not do that, “And you getting hurt is not something we can just brush off.”

It was a double edged sword. 

When Watari got hurt, it reminded the police agencies that they weren’t safe from danger. It helped cool tensions between them, but that only worked when the detectives realized how much L and Light cared about each other. It was obvious to him, but they tried to keep it professional, and that was the down side to him getting injured in the line of duty.

Some thought L was essentially sending him to an early grave. With every injury to Watari, a small percentage of officers resented L more.

“I’ll smooth it over.” Light huffed, “And I think all the officers heard L’s concern.”

More like his complete panic when Light had cried out in pain, but yeah. They all heard that so it was more likely the Paris police department would lean towards the better outcome.

“You two are going to be disgusting again, aren’t you?” Mello grumbled.

The engaged man laughed, “Like you weren’t just as bad the time Matt and I disarmed that bomb.”

He blushed at what he was implying, “That was a fucking bomb.”

Him and Matt weren’t like that. There were times where he thought…maybe…but Matt had never asked him out and he had no issue starting any of his previous relationships. He didn’t know what his best friend saw in any of those people. But he’d seen the way they made him happy, even if his interest in them never lasted longer than a few months, and therefore didn’t interfere.

He still remembered the way the future should have gone. Matt would have died because he asked him to. He’d abused their friendship. Even now, there was little the computer genius would deny him.

If he asked, he was sure Matt would say yes.

But…he couldn’t ask. What would happen if they started dating anyways? They already lived together. They already spent a majority of their time together. Sure, it’d be nice if they could kiss whenever he felt the urge to (which was often) and sleep together (he missed just sharing a room with him) but nothing would really change except the level of physical intimacy.

“We aren’t like that.” He said out loud, the pause too long for that to be entirely true.

Light sighed, “I have no idea where all of you got the idea that being in a relationship is a bad thing.”

“It’s a risk.” They were only nineteen. No point in risking it now, not when they weren’t going anywhere.

He focused again on the knife sticking out of Light’s back, and grimaced at the reminder that they could die. Thinking they were untouchable had gotten them killed in another timeline.

“Mello-“

“Not now.” He interrupted what would probably be good advice about manning up and making whatever was between him and Matt something official, “Just…not now.”

“When does not now become not ever?” Light wondered, and if he wasn’t injured he would punch him, “And how much longer before you regret it?”

Luckily for him, the doctor arrived with his supplies and they busied themselves making sure he didn’t bleed out. Light was at least subtle in his teasing. If, God forbid, Sayu or L were aware of what he felt…he would definitely disappear. But that was why he’d liked Yagami-sensei, back when he still called him that with the other kids. 

He didn’t give him answers. He didn’t tell him what to do. 

He just made him think.

At L’s speed, and lack of adherence to the law, the helicopter ride from Winchester to Paris in an hour. He had no idea where he got the permission to land said helicopter, but by the time they finished up and got him bandaged the door slammed open and the head detective was walking in. Matt followed a few seconds later, meaning Near was handling the arrest.

“You good?” His best friend focused on him as L and Light…reunited.

“Can’t believe he went and got stabbed a month before his wedding.” Mello replied.

“Well, hopefully he’s still not on pain meds for his bachelor party.” Matt chuckled.

“He’ll probably try to use them as an excuse to get out of his bachelor party.” The blond rolled his eyes.

“Nah, he knows there’s no getting out of it.” The computer genius was watching the couple with an almost wistful expression, “There are just some things you can’t avoid.”

When did he pick up Light’s annoying habit of saying shit with so many hidden meanings it gave him a headache just deciphering it? 

“You can sure as hell try.” Mello muttered.

They had time, but how much was a question no one could answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. I got blocked on this, and then the idea for the Hunger Games AU took hold and I started working on that when I should have been trying harder on this. 
> 
> Flower question is still up if anyone has suggestions.
> 
> Thank you for your patience and support!


End file.
